Happy Birthday, Tristan!

It's so hard to believe that it's already been a whole year since our boy was born! It's definitely been tough at times. And between a pretty rough trip to Maui, in which he (and Kelly, and I) got some sort of food-poisoning-like stomach flu, and now "cry-it-out" sleep training, the little dude hasn't had the best couple of weeks. But it's been an amazing year! Full of all sorts of strange feelings and experiences that must be known only by other mommies and daddies. I'll confess that there are days when the full scope of our commitment to this boy sinks in, and I am both humbled and terrified. And yet I love him SO much, SO unconditionally, SO deeply and SO personally, that when friends and coworkers and even family ask how he is, or what it's like being a parent... well, it's all I can to keep from blubbering like some weepy preteen girl watching Titanic.

It blows my mind to think of how much there is still to come. The other day our nieces and nephew had a slumber party at our house and I showed them all Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. None of them had ever seen it before, and OHHH, I felt so much joy watching their faces as they watched the movie, all I could think was HOW MUCH FUN it's going to be to show Tristan Star Wars for the first time. Indiana Jones. E.T. Pee Wee. Goonies. Star Trek. Lord of the Rings. The Wizard of Oz. Spy Kids. Heck, Monster Squad! Even to be there the first time Jaws scares him.

I think about the school plays to come, the sleepovers, the days at the beach swimming and throwing the frisbee. I can't wait. I CAN'T WAIT! And yet I want to slam on the brakes... wait, wait, it's all going too fast! How is it that he's saying "Daddy" and "Mommy" already? How is it that he's standing and creeping along the table? How is it that he's started stacking blocks instead of just knocking them down? Just yesterday he was a little podling in my arms, listening to me read him Series of Unfortunate Events. Now he deliberately knows which parts of the tactile books have the fuzzy scarves or the bumpy mittens. How quickly will it be that he's begging us to buy him candy at the checkout stand of the grocery store? That he's learning to ride a bike? That he's writing and drawing stories of his own? Ooohhhh, I can't wait! I'm so excited for him to really start talking. To know what's on his mind!

Anyway, I could go on and on. But it's 12:03 and his birthday is over. I had to work late tonight and barely got to see him today. Didn't even get to sing him Happy Birthday. But I'm going to make up for that come Saturday, when over fifty people converge on our house, whether we're ready for them or not, to celebrate our little dude's big day! He's going to play with all his other baby friends, and you better believe he's going to try cake for the first time! It should be fantastic!

I love him so much, I can't even put it into words. I've got to take a moment, though, to say CONGRATULATIONS, MEGAN AND KEVIN!!! Connor is a beautiful baby and I know you'll both be terrific parents. And if you feel for him anything of what I feel for Tristan, he's a lucky, loved little guy.